6 MARCH 2008: MARKS A HISTORY IN MY LIFE - I CRIED (5yrs since i last cried)

today had LEVEL CAMP 2008 for ALL NYJC J1 students... n it was really a disappointment to ALL FACILITATORS (be it J1s, Alumni or Staff)... we all BROKE DOWN when the TRAINING WAS PUT TO A HALT suddenly... the Trainer had to SEND ALL THE J1s HOME!

i feel very very sad and disappointed la... cos my CT just dont see the NEED or PURPOSE of the whole training... all they thot was PLAY GAMES... i opened up to them but yet... they dont be truthful to me... really feel very helpless at some moment of the training.... but I KEPT THINKING.... AM I GOING TO ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN WITHIN MY CLASS FOR 2YRS... den i felt it was NOT WORTH IT.... SO I GAVE IN 100%.... YET! THEY STILL KEPT THINKING IT WAS ALL ABOUT FUN AND GAMES! and when the trainer told ALL OF THEM TO LEAVE THE HALL AND GO HOME, SOME OF THEM ACTUALLY CELEBRATED!

that scene really made my heart SANK deeper in... wad went thru my mind was "how is it possible for them to CELEBRATE when they are being sent home without completing the whole training?" at tht moment i felt that their goals were not very clear. Cos IF THEIR GOALS WERE CLEAR... they would hav felt WASTED! and i believe tht scene really WRINGED THE HEARTS OUT OF ALL THE FACILITATORS! WE ALL JUS BROKE DOWN DURING OUR FACIL DEBRIEF!

BUT ITS ALRITE FACILS! WE HAVE WENT THROUGH THE TRAINING! WE MUS B RESILIENT! ITS OKAY! ITS ALRITE! FACILS FACILS FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! 大家加油！